but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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