Midget sex pt 2 tonight
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I am naked and annoyed.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
