god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
