I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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