MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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