airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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