my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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