Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
