What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
