he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
