Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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