i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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