I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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