he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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