i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize