I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Dignity is for republicans.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
