My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize