DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My dick has a subreddit
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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