when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We're too hungover to prance.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
