she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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