Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Randomize
