You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm at about main and main street
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
