Only a mothe r could love this liver
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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