I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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