tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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