I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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