Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
