We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
