called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
