i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
