I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
