I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
