I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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