I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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