i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
