the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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