I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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