which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
