and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
