a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
