So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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