i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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