I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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