so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
foreskin is a definite game changer
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
