You're so nebulous sometimes
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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