You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
