I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
