You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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