Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
