we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
