no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
