i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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