Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Randomize
