I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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