The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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