dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
