The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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