hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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